THE DARK SIDE – Rahul Luther

“I’ve had a long history of addiction. The problem progressed through college and employment. Then I got married and like most brides and parents thought (wrongly) that marriage will solve this problem. Of course it didn’t and the problem only got worse. Ultimately, my wife could not take it anymore and left me along with my daughter. This was the one incident that made me realise that I need to do something about my addiction.

I had to go and stay in rehab for a long time – nearly 3 years. I had to give up my self-will and follow the directions of my counsellor totally. I had to become humble. I had to be patient. I had to get honest with myself. In short, I had to begin to progress spiritually.

With my long history of addiction, there are so many crazy incidents. So many mornings when I would wake up with a black out when I wouldn’t remember what happened the previous night. Then I would proceed to find out tactfully what happened. Once I got into an altercation with a cop on the street and was hauled up to the police station. I caused so much embarrassment to myself and my family so many times.

Rahul Luther TDS

Rahul Luther, Owner of Hope Trust India, Rehab Center, Hyderabad

I regret starting to use alcohol and drugs; I wasted so many years of my life using substances and then so many years trying to get out of it. However, ultimately, I did leverage this experience in my endeavours to help others with a similar problem. My experience gave me a unique perspective into addiction. So you can say the thing I most regretted is also the thing I am most grateful for! My regret gave me purpose in life.

An alcoholic or addict does not merely cause harm to him or herself, but to all those around him or her. Especially, those who are close, like family members. This hurt is emotional, social and spiritual. My family tried over so many years to ‘reform’ me and their hopes were repeatedly shattered. I caused huge hurt to them and it has taken years to heal that.”

“I was an addict for the longest time. I didn’t quit even after marriage and  fatherhood. It wasn’t by intent that I cleaned up my act. When my son asked me to quit doing drugs, I quit living with him instead and took to the streets. Only because he decided to give me a chance and intervened by putting me in rehab did I get clean. No alcoholic/addict is in charge of his life while using, he is a slave to the substance of abuse.

The authorities at the rehab asked me to stay a year, but after the first year I stayed a further two years to make sure I knew myself and wouldn’t relapse. I still follow the 12-step program which begins with Acceptance, Surrender and living one day at a time.

I have done crazy stuff including tripping on acid and sitting with a beer bottle in my hand, which my so called “friends” substituted with a bottle of whiskey which I downed bottoms up on a dare, waking up after a stomach pump in a hospital.

My family, friends and I have at some time or the other been hurt directly or indirectly through my using for which the only amends I can make are through staying sober (9 years now), being productive, responsible for myself, and working to being a better human being till the end.

But I have no regrets.”